Categories
Poetry

HOW THE COPS FIXED MY ASS

I was bung outta dung.

I was bunged in.

I didn’t know where to crap I was

gonna get any more dung.

I checked inside my wallet and

nope, not a turd, not so much

as a drop of piss.

I was bung outta dung,

I was bunged in.

I knew there was a lotta dung downtown.

I could smell it. All that dung rolled inside

paper assholes, crammed inside cash registers,

bung up in the banks,

bunged sky high to the lid of the First National Bank Tower.

I tried bunging my way onto a bus,

but nope, no soap,

the driver slammed the door in my nose

because I didn’t have so much as a drop of piss.

So I hitchhiked and it rained

and I got downtown a little later than I had hoped,

but Lord! the stench of dung was overpowering!

Bunged-out winos crumpled to the sidewalk

like men made of turd. Businessmen shiny as piss

walked by and

grinned at themselves in shop windows across the street.

I was sickened… there was nothing else to do:

I entered a bank and shot the teller and stuffed my jeans

with clean green dung.

Easy as pie. One, two, three. I

ran out filthy with dung, and almost made it

to the new car I was about to buy,

when Bung! Bung! Bung!

the cops shot my ass off.

Willie Smith

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