Song of Penury

When you are unemployed in America the jackals appear

In Britain they make you confess to your crimes

In Russia you get vodka and cancer

In the Cameroon you train to run marathons

In France they teach you to cut up garlic

In Belgium you get fat

In China you juggle rice

In Greece you have to read out loud both The Iliad and The Odyssey while stuffing olives into your mouth

In North Korea you have to write Kim Jong-Il a billion times on the black board and then erase and start all over again

In Australia you stand on your head

In Patagonia, down in Patagonia I heard that when you defecate you do it standing on your head. I want to go to Patagonia, I want to get away from all this worry, worry about money, debt, insurance, immigration, the bomb, outsourcing, the INS , AIDS, black holes, obesity, global warming, global cooling, lead paint, in Patagonia I won’t have to worry about China, about India, terrorism, Wall Street, Microsoft, the monopoly, heart attacks, dog fighting, the football results, dishonest referees, the house prices, the economy, who’s number one, which star is in rehab, who’s going to win the Oscar.

Paul Kavanagh

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