I was dreaming a harangue about a reaming when the phone rang.      I was fixing an idea. I had a screwdriver, a nail, a bucket and a very pale face in the mirror at the bottom of an orange juice can. I had another screwdriver; held the juice.      I picked up. Parted […]

Feel-Good Poetry

There’s a trend nowfor poetry that’s likesomething you’d stickon a t-shirt or toilet cubiclenext to ‘suck me.’ Feel-good, warm,quasi-philosophicalshit. And not the good shit. This loved up soupbrings in the groupieson Instagramand the ‘poets’make a living fromsmiling and spunkingin the permanentneon sunset. Oh, the remainsof Hollywood happy endings,brains scrambled into stickypudding. Bogdan Tiganov


Pad over to the Poet’s pad. Surprise the clown making love to his fist. Hoping thereby – he grunts – to get a handle on some angle for an ode. Gets out, between gasps, concentrating on his two-stroke: “Booze in kitch, cabinet under sink, Popov – beside cleaning fluid can.” Spurts across the room at […]

Two Grand

He said he wanted the apple and I told him that the apple was really an onion and he laughed and said that he would have the apple and I told him that the apple was an onion and the onion belonged to me and he said that what was his was mine and what […]


This is not going to be easy. It has never been achieved in this manner before. He closes his eyes. He believes eyes should be shut.  He pictures a bed. Not his bed. Another bed. A bigger more luxurious bed. A bed maybe found in a fairy tale. The room is commodious so commodious he […]


     Came the day all the microphones in the world turned into penises. Sportscasters sported in their fists big dicks. On location in Beirut, some guy in a suit suddenly found himself spewing the news into an orgasm. Frank Sinatra, Ronald Reagan and all the presidential candidates began to resemble nothing more than a bunch […]

Match Report

“Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.” Roy Keane Darwin Hill.   27/8/2020 13:01: The score is twenty-one nil. I missed my vocation. Yes, it really is twenty-one nil. I should be doing something else, maybe teaching literature. The pitch is a mud bath. The wind is coming down off the mountains with unmitigated thuggery. The rain […]


It is time for our game. Do not worry it is not a long game. I don’t play long games. You don’t play long games, if you did you would not be here. Sometimes I wish I would or could. There are such games that are long but our game will be short. Within the […]


Preacher been fucking the wife. Get into a gunfight up and down the aisles; shooting through pews, winging hymnals, dinging collection plate; ricochets whistle ire, targets praying to acquire. Near nail the sumbitch with a beautiful shot, him skeeting across the choir. The Son’s hardly settled  with corn and coke to watch the fun, when […]


I had a toy. You had a toy. My toy was different. My toy had four wheels. It went very fast and very far when I pushed it. My toy could drive up walls, climb the stairs, it floated in bath water, it could fly, it traveled to the moon, to mars and beyond. You […]


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