She was fat as a pimple, dumb as scum on the Susquehanna; but no ordinary Philly whore: she was a drunk dirty lady from down in lower Darby, a stinko queen who had, or one of her sisters, been on the scene since the beginning of sex. I creaked up the wood stairs and swung […]


3. Vinny slept with the gun under his pillow. Vinny slept soundly with the gun under the pillow. Vinny turned dreaming of the intruder at the locked window and the gun went off. Vinny stopped dreaming of intruder at the locked window and never woke up. 4. “- listen and listen good, I want everything […]

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I have a big penis. I had to get that out of the way first. I have a twenty-seven-inch penis. A past girlfriend called it ‘The Onion.’ I was very proud of the name. Many years later I found out she called it ‘The Onion’ because of the smell. I always thought she named it […]

Arthur Rimbaud

Did not Arthur Rimbaud ask the question What am I doing here? but you never ask the question standing before the mirror with the hairbrush in your hand impersonating Arthur Rimbaud chanting Jadis, si je me souviens bien… with your hair puffed up and a scowl on your face and a teatowel tied in a […]


Media urges me to buy it. All my friends tell me to buy it. People at work insist I buy it. So I decide to go out and buy it. Take along my AK. Couple hundred hollow points. Because what is the point? Take along a crowd a thought – we can all buy it […]

Literary Masturbation

James Joyce uncircumcised Virginia Woolf circumcised Emily Dickinson uncircumcised Barbara Cartland circumcised Franz Kafka uncircumcised Henry Miller circumcised Philip Roth uncircumcised Adomnan of Iona circumcised Julian of Norwich uncircumcised Jack Kerouac circumcised Agatha Christie uncircumcised Fernando Pessoa circumcised Carson McCullers uncircumcised Ann Kavan circumcised BS Johnson uncircumcised George Orwell circumcised William Shakespeare uncircumcised Sappho circumcised […]


Gene stared at the television, blew smokerings, and listened to the bed. An open bottle of whiskey and two dirty glasses and a dirty ashtray betrayed the morning. One of the glasses was smeared with heavy lipstick. The ice had not melted. The air was thick with perfume. Gene had not turned on the television […]


     Sitting in this flop with a picture of you, a chicken pot pie, gallon of Gallo and little else; watching cracks on the wall; hoarse cough nextdoor, the oldfart damn near dead from WWI wounds, dead wives, Bugler and even cheaper wine than I drink; upstairs the nineteen year old Krishna freak without a […]

Superman Rant

How do you fuck Lois Lane? You do it in the missionary position. I know. With the lights out. Never experiment. No joy involved. In out in out. No thought of poor Lois Lane. Your greed in the bedroom knows no bounds. It’s me me me Superman. You manage five seconds. Grabbing. Ramming. No kiss […]


Perfectly aware of wearing only underwear, I shoved my fist down the throat of a Waring blender shoplifted last year from Salvation Army. My left index stabbed the puree button. I sought the pure experience.      The engine locked into a screech. Blades bit knuckles; blood seeped, stung, itched; while from the shoulder I wrenched, […]


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